Share Your Problems with Nubian Smiles
Need some pearls of wisdom? Don’t know what to do? Problems churning around in your head? Got a relationship problem? Got a life dilemma? No one to turn to with an ounce of sense? Experience is usually the best way to learn, but if you want a quick fix turn to an elder and ask NubianSmile…
Q:
Me and my man haven’t had sex in what feels like forever. We’ve been together for 3yrs and used to be at it all the time. Now I’m lucky if it’s once a month. I feel so unloved. What should I do? (Diana - Swindon)
NS says:
There could be a number of reasons why your sex life has dwindled; tiredness & stresses of work, looking after kids, depression, physical change i.e. weight gain/loss, illness or even cheating. It could be any one of these or neither, but in order to retrieve your healthy sex life you need to talk candidly with him and explain your feelings. Also consider role play and suggest fantasies you’d both like to play out. Don’t just snuggle up in bed - take it out of the bedroom exploring every room in your house and outdoors. Take it to the garden, car, Local Park - be risqué and if he’s working late pay him a visit after hours at his workplace. Suggest meeting in a bar, arrive separately and role play as if you don’t know each other. Also a nice weekend break away from home may do the trick. Don’t give up girl, sexy times lay ahead.
Q:
My boss has bad BO. We are close, but I don’t feel like I can tell her as it’s too embarrassing and I don’t know how to say it without sounding rude. People are always making horrible comments about her. On nights out she smells worse after a stint on the dance floor. What should I say to her? (Felicity – Leeds)
NS says:
Somebody has to tell her. Clearly your work colleagues are more interested in gossiping. If she’s also a friend tell her. Try putting yourself in her shoes. You’d want someone to tell you, right?! And as soon as possible! You can either be subtle approach or direct. You could start by going to lunch together, pop into your local chemist and suggest different perfumed body sprays she can try. Say you use them and they are brilliant for keeping you smelling sweet all day. Make sure she tests them in store. Also, loiter around the soaps, shower gels and bubble baths aisles and makes a purchase. Give it a week to note any change.
If it doesn’t work - you’re going to take the more direct approach. Go for a girly chat after work, explain that people have mentioned her BO to you, and you want to help her alleviate it. She may be relieved to talk about it as it may have been something she’s aware of, some medical condition, or purely a lack of hygiene knowledge. She may well be washing her body but not her clothes. Undoubtedly, she will respect you for it - as no one likes being the butt of jokes.
Q:
Just over two years ago I split with my boyfriend. We never really spoke about our problems at the time. We have recently reconnected, as my car broke down in Brixton and I called him and he came to my rescue. Since then he’s said he’d like to go out on a dinner date and talk properly. Do you think I should go? (Claudette – Croydon)
NS says:
Yes, I think you should. Clearly you still like and respect him as you still have his number and his support. This must be reciprocated or else he would not have come to your rescue like a gallant hero. There is no harm in talking with him over a meal, as at least it will help you both get things off your chest, clear out your emotional clutter and aid closure on that chapter of your life. If he suggests rekindling your flame, think about it carefully before you go there, as they say people are ex’s for a reason. Evaluate what it was you didn’t like about him, and take your time to find out if anything’s changed. Enjoy the meal for what it is, just a meal and a chat. Talking can only help the soul.
