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Real Life Stories
By: Tee Deoy
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A total dreamboat arrives at a party and sweeps me off my feet. Surely our first date would be a dream come true? Um...no.

So the rant continues: luckily, I do not have a lot to rant about now as this sister is moving on to other things.

The last couple of months have been a “whirlwind” — that’s just me using my romance novel terminology. Things have changed, but not on the “I now have a man” front — but on my perception of men.

I left you on a cliff hanger about the tall, dark, and handsome guy I met — start the drum rolls, please, here goes...

One bright and sunny day I got an invite to attend a friend’s birthday party.  Typical girl, I got excited and extended the invite to a friend who was also single. We got all glammed up and drove off for a night of fun. I honestly wasn’t expecting anything beyond a good laugh, good company, and loads of food, but you have to understand that I never pass up on an opportunity to do the whole “dress to kill” routine.

Got to the party and, as expected, there were loads of laughter, games, and general chitchat. I decided to play some video games, and in the midst of my excitement —or rather, remorse — over being whooped silly with loads of body gyrations and unattractive facial expressions (yes, I had way too much punch by this time), my ‘hunk-o-meter’ suddenly jacked into life.

I looked up and in walked this tall, dark, and handsome dude. Hold off the cynical laughter and eye roll for a minute, I kid you not: like magnets drawn to each other, our eyes met literally as soon as he walked in and an unspoken attraction passed between us. Obviously, my not-so-attractive stance and facial expression in that split second as I was being whooped at the video game didn’t really sell the gorgeousness of yours truly — he had looked away to scan the rest of the room. I knew that my one opportunity of experiencing love at first sight was lost. I gave up on redeeming my image. “Why would he bother looking at the nutcase in the corner again?” I thought.

But cupid, dear old cupid, was at work as the brother came over shortly after arriving, and started a conversation with me.  Folks, I was a tongue-tied blubbering mess!

Somehow — don’t ask how! — I wouldn’t have asked myself out on a date with the way I was carrying on (read: Brad Pitt-starstruck). By the end of the evening, we had swapped numbers and had a tentative date. Gosh, I had it bad! I was I walking on clouds and daydreaming all week.

The date
D-day arrives, and I finally understood the phrase “all that glitters ain’t gold”.
First off, even though I got to the designated spot we had agreed to meet fashionably late —10 minutes to be exact — it seems like I missed the memo stating that being fashionably late now applies to both sexes. I waited for half an hour for this dude to show up. But as soon as I saw his adorable self, my senses flew away yet again and all was forgiven.

We had the general chitchat and walked around looking for where to have a meal. As we were about to go into a Thai restaurant with me looking forward to a rewarding evening, (and dare I say “future” with this brother after years of searching), I hear some very strange words coming out of his lips. I had to check as I couldn’t believe these words were indeed coming from his lips. “I am sorry babes, seems I forgot my wallet at home. Can you get this?” he asks. First off, I absolutely detest being called “babes”. Secondly… whaaaattttt?!!! I know this is 2010 and all, an era where equality and feminism seem like a slogan, but come on now: this man invited me out for a meal! Had I invited him, sure no problems, I would make sure to have funds on me to pay for our meal. Thirdly, this definitely wasn’t a great start for a first date! Shoo, he didn’t forget no wallet; he was just a little ______ (fill in the blanks to ease your frustration too, divas — and divos)! And most importantly, what gentleman would take a lady out on a date and be unprepared for it? -  I mean he didn't even have a restuarant in mind to start with!

I tried to imagine what Angelina Jolie would do if she were in my shoes: clueless. Well I was starving, so I said “okay” and we go in and settle down, place our orders, and I try my darndest to move on. But guess who had all the side extras going and Speedy Gonzales refills of drinks that evening —and on my tab? HIM!

It doesn’t end there! All through the course of dinner, he kept asking if I wanted to date him. He didn’t say he wanted to date me. People, he asked if I wanted to date him like he was some best-selling commodity on e-bay. I swear, at this point, I was expecting Ashton Kutcher to appear out of nowhere saying “you have been Punk-ed”. That’s how unbelievably surreal the whole evening panned out to be.

But I survived the ordeal! We finished dinner, and we left with him promising to call me the next day. Needless to say, that was the end of my affair with Mr Tall, Dark, and Handsome!  Moral of this story? Please say this with me, people: “all that glitters is certainly not gold!”

I get angry shivers just remembering that night.

That’s not to say that I haven’t been naughty, I will fill you in on that in due course. Until next time, keep on Divascribing!

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